get rid of this ad | advertise here

Chartership Junk & other stuff as it all crops up.

Search loopylibrarian
Search WWW

12 Reasons Why - Bit of a Biog and Rant

1.   Who is this Loopy Librarian?

Er...well I'm Kieran, born in April 1968 if you want to work out your age you can but as I'm in a constant state of denial about it I'm not telling because that would involve maths and dragging a calculator out.  Just to prove I can do maths I reckon that means I was conceived during the Summer of Love in 1967.  I'd blame that for my love of music with a jangle angle but as my folks are both trad jazz fans I reckon it was probably the result of a piece of dangerous improvisation while trying to use the rhythm method. I'm married to Sharon who it must be said I usually refer to as Monst or Monster, we have a child Callum (he's 4 by the way and destined to be a gooner because his presence was announced during the 1999 double win when Monst came into the room and waved a white stick thing in my face and told me it had a blue line.  My response was that Marc Overmars had just scored and this was the double for the first time since 71 so what did a blue line mean...the rest is history and a hefty thump) and cat called Katie.

2.   What is a Loopy Librarian?

In my case I deal with unconventional literature or grey literature which suits me just fine.  I reckon if you can get your head round indie music and indie labels then grey lit is normal.  As a sideline I do primary care stuff, a bit of records management and Freedom of Information stuff. 

3.   Where is this Loopy Librarian coming from?

Born at the Battle Hospital in Reading as a result of my propensity to be awkward, I was breach, so rather than St. Mary's Wallingford I was rushed to Reading by Ambulance.  A dignified entry into the world.  Barring the 4 years I lived in Cholsey (a period which resulted in me becoming a Gooner when I was 3 or so because I wanted to be like Simon Peedle the big kid across the street, or maybe it's just a family thing seeing my old fella suffers the same way), until I was 18 I lived in Wallingford.  I claim it as a home town and have loads of affection for the place.  

At 18 desperate to escape I wound up at the University of Ulster in Coleraine.  3 years of studying History in a part of the world I love for its surrealism and utter madness and it was back home for a pre-professional year at the Cairns Library at the John Radcliffe Hospital which was my first encounter with the NHS. 

Planning a year of good Guinness in Belfast I was planning to go to library school at Queen's.  They changed the course, it wasn't accredited by the LA and instead I found myself hanging around at UCL with Jeremy Bentham and living in Tooting.  This was my 'Men Behaving Badly' period when having broken the coffee table in the house in Tooting I was living in and inspired one part by my love of pop art and one part by being part of the Blue Peter generation I was involved in the manufacture of a coffee table of Stella cans (which were in plentiful supply) and double sided sticky tape. 

7 months later I was back home selling my soul to the nuclear industry for 7 months with UK Nirex at Harwell.  During this dreadful time when I split up with a long term girlfriend, we managed to move from Wallingford to Didcot (a one house town where the horse is long gone).  I was so impressed at getting on the nuclear bus in Wallingford and getting off in scummy Didcot that I fell asleep at the house and slept through the police pitching up and asking my folks if we were squatting because we were the first people to move into the estate.  This tale later hit the local press, great Didcot I hate and it takes the piss straight off.  Luckily friends got me through all of this and my love of Brakspears increased.... 

Next stop Barnet College of Nursing and Midwifery, which I killed as it was merged out of existence by the University of Hertfordshire (an institution for which I hold nothing but contempt to this day).  It was here I met Monst who poor soul had to put up with our library lectures.

To keep body and soul together and pay off a car loan I then moved to Crewe and the Postgrad Centre at Leighton Hospital.  A great venue to spend a couple of years that taught me what a mare hospital politics can be and what how bad academic libraries really are.

Then to Liverpool and the Health Authority.  Again I killed HA's (I do rock venues as a sideline if you have any you need closing down) and I'm now working on PCT's. 

4.   Rule 4

There is no rule 4.  If there is it is only applicable to ex and current members of WOT VSU.

5.   Why is this a Loopy Librarian?

I got into librarianship as a result of a fundamental misunderstanding.  Now having spent three years studying History my time was up, I needed something to do.  The Gradscope thing suggested I became a Vicar or Assistant Prison Governor. Bollocks to that I know better than computers, so where do I spend my time?  The answers were bars, coffee bars and the library.  Bars and catering looked like they actually involved hard work and all I could see of librarianship was that it involved standing behind a desk gossiping all day and occasionally fining people.  I'm still looking for that holy grail job but I don't believe in the fining thing.

6.  How does a Loopy Librarian end up writing all this rubbish?

Easily, rubbish comes naturally to me and I'm too lazy to write a fanzine.  Plus I had a Big Black Book of Doom that was meant to help me sort out this chartership lark.  It was full of curses and scribbled notes, this is it's electronic equivalent.  That I fill it with rubbish about what I'm up to is merely because I also have to write a Christmas letter from Cal and I'm planning a cut and paste job this year.......

7.   Er...and a Loopy Librarian Looks Like?

With the sartorial elegance of Old Man Steptoe combined with a face that ate a thousand chips a Loopy Librarian looks a complete bloody mess.  You want a picture, you're mad, mail me if you really need it....

8.   Music with a jangle angle?

Lifted from an ad for Tambourine a label that the Dentists released 'Writhing on the Shagpile' on from Bucketful of Brains the fanzine of those who love psychedelia....  I tend to define what I listen to as indie but get quite puritanical about the definition of indie in that it is defined by a labels status not the musical style.  It therefore is sufficiently broad for me to get away with murder......  Music is a vital part of my life, I barely go through a day without listening to at least one album unfortunately I have the musical ability of a tone deaf newt, not that I don't try.....

9.   Poetry?

I like it, rave on Martin Newell, John Hegley, Attila the Stockbroker, John Cooper Clarke......

10. Invective, why?

It's a bit like breathing it happens.  I also hate the whole F**k thing.  Why not just type it?  I apologise if it offends you.

11. Ranting?

A seventeenth century sect who believed that the best way to get rid of sin was to sin daily so it was an everyday occurrence and no longer a sin.  Now how logical is that? 

12. 12 Reasons Why?

Where else you going to get a reference to Jake Shillingford's wonderful 'My Life Story'?

Dramatis Personae

Kieran - narrator and general loon.  Working in NHS Libraries is a bit of a habit.

Monst - Sharon long suffering wife of the above.  Nurse, spot the NHS theme.

Callum  - Son and heir to amongst other things the role as gooner.

Katie - White and Black cat, the only sensible household member.

The Rapidly Diminishing Ken Clare - Blogmaster general it's all his fault.

Plus a cast of thousands and at least 1000 elephants........